I looked into the instant email notification issue, to disable instant notifications do the following:
1. click on userCP
2. click on edit options
3. under "Default Thread Subscription Mode" select "No Email notification" or "Do not subscribe"
4. Click save changes.
Now, heres the trick. All threads you were previously subscribed to, you will continue getting instant email notifications for. It must be a bug of sorts with the forum code. So when you receive these instant email notifications, click the link to unsubscribe yourself from the thread. That should do it.
Thanks
Stephen