Update: I reconfigured the silicone nipple bung Using a brass barb with male thread, 2 washers, and a special nut. These are all in the plumbing section at true value (hardware store) and NPT threads. I payed $5.49 and the barb gives me all the length I need to feel secure. Oddly, now it's making some racket at the TB and blowing hella smoke. Still haven't taken her for a rip though.
EDIT: drove to work today and all seems well! :-)