Update: for the past 7 hours I've been taking the engine bay apart and labeling all of the vacuum hoses (going to clean everything up and paint it), I started with the intake then took off the throttle body (for a really good cleaning) and noticed mold on the back of the throttle plate, I took a flashlight and shined it in the intake manifold and to my surprise it was full of coolant, I have no idea how that happened, well at least the heavy carbon buildup has been softened enough to wipe it clean, also 2 of my header studs are broken off of cylinder #4 which wasn't like that before, and the oil got hot enough to melt the label on the oil filter.
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So then I got to thinking what would have caused that (i still can't figure out how coolant got in the intake manifold ), and I decided to test the thermostat again and it didn't open, I let it cool and then put it in hot water again and it worked, I was like wtf, I guess it works when it wants to, so the thermostat could have caused all this.
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Unfortunately I can't quote posts on my crackberry, I guess that would be the best way to describe that sound (maybe its from the coolant hitting the alternator), it also kinda sounded like an exhaust leak (which I had none of at the time, but my rubber boot under the shifter is ripped)
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I've been doing some research about gagues I'm either going to replace the stock temp gague in the dash with an aftermarket 2 1/16" digital gague with flashing and audible warning, or do some re-aranging and put the the gauge in the center of the car in place of the cubby hole. (like chriscar on the other forum did in his b13,i don't think its been done in a b14 yet, atleast no one posted about it) that way I can have a better warning system in place so it won't happen again