The real problem was that I was trying to ascertain the alignment
by eye using the body of the car and other things as markers. I realize this was a complete newb move and how stupid I look for having attempted it and putting any faith in it. Camber and caster might be able to be eye-balled to within a couple degrees but that's way too gross for an actual alignment. Without any good visual cues, toe is absolutely out of the question.
I know. This is where everyone says "No shіt Ben, I could have told you that." and many of you did in this very thread. Well, I'm an idiot, what can I say?
Point being, I took it to get an alignment and was able to get it within spec pretty easily.
Yah, I had bent bolts before but that was from over torquing them (and the stupid knuckle design). All the other problems I had were either not problems at all, or problems I created because I thought I knew what my alignment looked like before, and I thought my alignment was way off. I was wrong.
Conclusion:
- The stock suspension binds.
- The binding gets worse with ES bushings but it's not apocalyptic and won't cause physical damage.
- Don't over torque your suspension unless you like bent bolts.
- Don't attempt an alignment by eye.
- I'm an idiot.
Pics of car on alignment rack (and probably specs) to come.