Davin, good to see you here. I have all of your answers.
First, the hub does not carry the weight of the vehicle. It is only there for ease of centering the wheel when mounting. A wheel can be mounted without resting on a hub and mount lug-centric instead, it just takes a little extra care when mounting the wheel and you'll be fine. All of the forces travel from the wheel to the rotor hat and hub via friction once the lugs are tight. No weight or forces are carried by that little hub extension. So if you don't want to deal with getting a proper hub extension you really don't have to.
That being said, you will have a very hard time getting a 10mm spacer to be hub-centric AND wheel-centric. This is because the factory hub extension is 10mm long. Are you willing to trim this hub down? If so, you could be okay. If not? You might be in trouble.
IMO if you insist I would cut down the stock hub extension to 8mm or so and (this is important) check to see if your wheels have a 45-degree chamfer taken out at the hub bore. This magical chamfer will give the machinist enough room to put enough support on a wheel-centric hub extension. See the chamfer on these
Rouge spacers? That's what I'm talking about. If you have wheels with this recess (95% of them have this) then you can really be in business.
I wish I'd known all this when I made my 12mm spacers a long while back. I probably would have gone with 10mm with no hub extension or 15mm with a hub extension. Let me know if I need to explain more.